Alive....With Issues

Issues, we all have them.  Some need a lot of attention; others might do better with less.  Some change our lives; others seem to change our lives.  Some hide in the shadows waiting to come out when the time is right and others are front and center for all to see.  It might be a family of issues or the errant issue that you cannot imagine how it found you.

We can ignore them, fixate on them, deny them, confuse them... It's a complicated issue...our issues.  And Whatever the issue there is almost certainly a story that goes along with it and these stories, as we have talked about before, (see August 2014), can either help us or hinder us.  The interwoven stories on the surface somehow make it seem better, safer, though over time we may find this is not really the case.  We may find the stories make life more difficult. 

So how do we know we have an issue that needs some loving attention?  Our bodies tell us.  It may start off as a quiet intuitive feeling, a small ache in the knee, or heaviness in the heart area.  And if these small requests for attention go ignored the message gets stronger and stronger.  A painful back that keeps you in bed, an extreme sense of overwhelm and fatigue, a body that is obviously not happy.  Is there something you have been ignoring or blocking out?

If we listen to our body,  it might be asking for a change of habit, a change in relationships, a change in sleep patterns, or a different way to relate to our bodies.  Often a fear of change, a desire to keep things just the way they are, even if they are not working all that well for us, keeps us in these unhealthy states.   This sense that the unknown future  is scarier than the present situation.  It is good to remind ourselves that a change just might bring us exactly what we have been dreaming for.  A  change that initially sounds limiting, may actually turn out to bring many good qualities with it. 

And that's where confidence, or trust, comes in and awareness around the first word of this blog title - Alive - becomes important.  Feeling alive, aware of the body being alive and the many intricacies of what that entails gives you something not only to appreciate but also to trust.  An inner wisdom that supports making change so that there is alignment with how you live and what you need.  Fully knowing that you are alive, your foot is alive, your elbow is alive, also engenders caring and kindness for yourself in whatever state you happen to find your self.  And so your issue gets the attention it has been asking for.  It may not be fixed but it will be heard and don't we all just want to be heard?  To be acknowledged?

So what issue have you been avoiding?  Where do you find appreciation in your imperfect day?  What change is your body asking you to embark on? And how does it feel to fully acknowledge “Yes I am alive and....I have issues.”

I would love to hear from you - me and my very alive, broken foot ! – just click the comment button below.   

Mindfully Reflecting in the Body

"For the Time Being"        Installation by Amy Rathbone

Recently back from a 5 day retreat in the Santa Cruz mountains I wanted to share that experience with you and then offer another experience in return. This particular retreat was based on exploring comfort and relaxation in the body, even while turning toward the uncomfortable and anxiety driven conditions many of us live with regularly. It was based on Breathworks, meditations and exercises developed by Vidyamala Burch, and proven greatly effective over the years.

Each morning we rose in silence then met in the zendo, a Japanese style meditation hall, and were guided by Singhashri, in meditations based on experiencing our breath in a compassionate and accepting, curious manner. Later in the day we participated as a group and/or with a partner on what it means to carry around the burden of secondary suffering, the different tactics we often take in managing difficulty, (blocking and drowning), opening our senses to the beauty of the natural setting and examining the different hormones released while we operate in modes of either achievement, aversion or contentment. The days were also full of long walks, (or naps), connecting with friends and healthy delicious meals. Basically, the best conditions for nurturing your body and the body-mind connection.

I saw people emotionally experience the deep joy of really breathing in the beauty of nature, the realization that our experiences are not fixed as we imagine, but fluid and changing, and the freedom in choosing to let go of long held beliefs. All potentially life changing and life enhancing.

These are practices I am familiar and intimate with and still in awe of. They have helped me traverse a path I would not have chosen, and yet the one I thrive in daily. On Saturday, July 18th, at the San Francisco Buddhist Center, I am leading a day retreat that further encourages a deeper listening, a calming of the mental chatter, and support in finding a place of comfort that we can that we can rest in, as we reflect on the deep truths held in the body.  Come experience the healing of a body scan, Hello body!  the wonder of mindfully following your breath, Is this really what my diaphragm feels like??  perhaps some gentle movement Ahhh... and of course the curious questions that by now you all expect from me.

Many of you also know that often I will work some meditation into the coaching sessions we have together and often there is so little time. This Saturday we will relax into the time, fold into it, settle into the clarity of mind that only meditation can bring, and THEN drop some inquiries in and see what emerges. I would love to share with you and connect in this meaningful way and hope you will join me.  Don't hesitate to contact me with any questions or curious inquiries of your own!l

gratefully,
shunya

What ARE you thinking??

When you begin noticing the signs are everywhere...

I know you must have noticed - HeartWisdom has been silent for several months - and I have missed you too!   Life has been just very distracting, or maybe it is my mind, very distracted.  There are reasons, layers of reasons, and this is what I have noticed; that there are those things that are tangibly real and then there's the things that happen in our mind.   And either world can provide you with an atmosphere that is healthy, helpful, a sense that all is well.  Or either world can provide a sense of doom, gloom, or worse.  Sometimes we have little control over what life sends our way yet we can be aware about our mind, and hopefully make choices that have a positive effect and that can ultimately bring some balance.  Choices like physical exercise, fresh healthy meals, meditation, anything that nourishes us while under stress, can bring a balancing shot of clarity.
 
I have been lost in the medical world recently as I have recently been diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my hips and spine.  This is a recent bump in the road for me and instead of a little speed bump it sent me on a detour and I am just now finding my way back.  There was the reality of doctor appointments, tests, physical therapy and then there was my mind. "WTF!  How can this be happening too?  I will never be the same again.  What am I doing wrong? ". A detour into mental negativity, understandably, but still negative and stagnating. 
 
I craved distraction and found it in many ways, as you can probably easily imagine.  And the distractions kept me from facing the stories in my mind which I knew were not true, Ok maybe there was some truth there.  And still there is always an alternative story you can craft for yourself to get you back on the road that will actually take you where it is you want to go.  It's a matter of being aware and consciously choosing to be in the drivers seat - again and again.  It's a matter of developing strategies for your most typical detours.
 
So where do you want to go??  Are you excited by the idea of change but can't bring yourself to turn and take the unknown bumpy, winding road?  Are you desperate to " fix" your pain but can't accept that some of your favorite things may have to take a backseat ?  Are you tired and overwhelmed by the same patterns week after week?  Chances are the story in your mind has ambushed you and you are not going to get to where it is you really want to be without facing these stories and asking " Is this true?"  "What else is true?"  "How often does this story keep me from being the person I want to be?"
 
What is it going to be - another binge on Netflix or some quality time with yourself to reflect, question, dream?  And once you decide to approach this land of awareness would it be helpful to ask for help?  It could be a heart to heart with a trusted friend, it could be a weekend workshop, or maybe some coaching would do the trick?   Whatever will keep you on track, encourage honesty with yourself, and safe from the debilitating stories.  Distraction can be very seductive...I have been on that detour, and the road to being well in both body and mind brings much more contentment and possibility. 

If you have found a good resource for clarity in mind and body, please share below.  ( It's the little grey bubble after Shunya ! )
 

Chronic - What does that mean again?

Hey - this is a 98 point word !

Recuperating from an injury for weeks now, I am finding this blog difficult to write.  I have been putting it off, feeling my own resistance, knowing it is hard to identify with my chronic illness, but there are just so many online scrabble games you can play in one day.

So here goes...I have lupus, a chronic illness,  and am continuously being reminded of the definition of this word chronic.  Websters definitions: Chronic - continuing or occurring again and again for a long time. And this one - constantly vexing, weakening or troubling. Then there is my definition - the practice of patience, acceptance, and gratitude when everything goes wrong. (That is the nicely worded version)

Anyway chronic; vexing, troubling, reoccurring for a very long time.  It is so cliche to say it is an opportunity, though it does drive me to the depths of understanding that I would not get to on my own. It does soften my heart again and again. It does open doors into connection and humility and has taught me the lesson that I most needed, the lesson of patience.  I have learned that a year is actually not a very long time and that determined force more than likely will not get you what you want ( particularly with the body) and that there is a richness to stepping back away from the hotspot of activity.

How about you? Chronic eating habits, chronic speech patterns, chronic stories that seem to happen over and over again?  There is something for each of us in looking at what this is really trying to tell us, what lies underneath.  And the question is what can we learn this time?  What choices are calling for our attention?  What resources will support us in trying something different or even accepting that this is what is true for us now?  Awareness is the beginning and a chronic condition teaches you the necessity of moving several steps beyond that. Not to belittle awareness, it is powerful and you do have to get over your anger, disappointment, grief, and more to arrive at awareness, quite an accomplishment in and of itself.

But I want more. I want to break the bonds that are causing my suffering. I want to change those deep rutted patterns and I want to be continually open to new possibilities. This is why I have a meditation practice, why I rely on support from alternative holistic practitioners as well as strongly developed relationships with my western doctors. Why I go on retreats and why I am a wellness coach. I want more - not only for myself but for you also.

What do you want? What are your methods of dealing with chronic issues? We are not alone, we are not an isolated island, we are connected by much more than what is on the surface.  Please share with us your challenges and successes and to the side is a resource list that I have started and am hoping you will add to.

New definition for chronic:  Patient, strong, deeply connected

Reflections on Change

Hollys' winter roses freshly opened

Freshness... it's a brand new year, a new day, a new breath.  There is something promising in that for me, something fragranced with possibility, a hint of the freedom I feel in being truly open to whatever unfolds.  It feels uplifting, promising, light ...

And then the strong lure of doing things the way I have always done them, going back into my usual schedule with the regular patterns, kicks in.  Patterns that serve me, though not quite grow me, and lack that sense of possibility.  The strong lure of what is known, what is expected.

I imagine many of you find yourself in a similar situation this time of year and I challenge you, us, to stay in this place of possibly choosing something new.  Drop down into it, uncomfortable as it might feel, and fight the urge to jump into the next thing on the list, the next distraction.  Trust that these shorter days and colder weather are the perfect conditions for regenerating our root systems, (thank you ES!), and connecting with the core values in our lives.  What would allow you to luxuriate in this deep reflective place?  A hot bath, alone time with your journal, a long walk...  A chance to reflect on what brings a sense of health, well being, satisfaction.  What do I want to carry with me into 2015?  What do I want to let go of?   What qualities do I want to nurture in myself or in others?   Oh no, I can almost feel these questions stirring up a heaviness, a dullness, an instinctive urge to turn away.  And that is where the perspective of freshness helps.  Once you honestly reflect and clearly see what is there, then you are free to choose afresh and not continue to carry around the weight of procrastination.§

Freshness can be a state of mind, it can be a place of embodiment, and a very creative place from which to move from, make choices from. What is it you would really like to say yes to in this new year?  What is whispering in your ear, or for some of us screaming from our bodies?  And as you tentatively feel the urge to Say Yes to change, notice what this change is saying No to -  no to feeling stuck, no to status quo, no to a history that you do not need to relive.

This helpful exercise works just as well the opposite way.  Perhaps you know what you don't want, know clearly what did not work for you last year, can easily write a list of No, not again...now with fresh curiosity imagine what those No's are really a declaration of Yes towards.

Each No is a Yes to something positive that moves you forward, each Yes is a No to an obstacle holding you back, and as you become more aware of this phenomenon more and more choices present themselves.  In fact our lives are a series of choices, and our choices shape our lives. 

In the freshness of this New Year what will you choose for yourself?  What can you say Yes to?

Intentional - or not??

The word intentions gives me such a feeling of confidence and with curiosity I am going to try and explain just why that is.   It is a natural process is something we all go through daily, with awareness or not, so what would it be like to bring a sense of purpose to those intentions?

Intentions in their many forms- intentions with relationships, intentions for your work life, and within your body- are powerful in and of themselves for propelling us forward.   They orient us, remind us, can be self affirming, and are our connection to our hopes and dreams.  Gentler than goals, they encompass not just "doing" aspects of ourselves but also the more abstract realms of "being".   They are a part of our daily life from the moment we get up with the intention of getting to work on time, to deciding  what we eat for lunch or how we spend the evening after a demanding day.

Even going to the grocery store can involve a certain amount of intention and a certain amount of time organizing or assessing the situation.  We ask ourselves "what do I need, what am I missing?"  "What are  the ingredients in that new recipe I want to try?"  "How do I want to plan so there is time in the day for getting there?"  Wow, what would  happen if we gave that kind of attention to the bigger necessities in life??

Like, let's say the Holidays ( you knew I had to go there right??)  How could setting some intentions serve you in being who it is you want to be during this holiday season?   What intentions do you need?  What are you sad about missing during this seasonal time in the past?   What ingredients are necessary in setting the stage and how will you create  them?  What kind of organizing or planning is needed to stack the cards in your favor?

So many questions....it would be easier to just cross our fingers and hope for the best and while I am a big believer in Easy, experience tells us that these intentions deserve some time to reflect and plan and dream.  Our most important relationships are on the line, you know the ones that are the life line to our peace and happiness, the same ones that during stressful times can drive us crazy!   And how about our bodies?  A heartfelt connection to what it is that would really help our bodies survive, (thrive?), during this holiday season is worth some thought.

Setting intentions doesn't need to take a lot of time or be one more thing on your to do list.  It could happen on the bus to work in the morning, waiting in line at your favorite food truck, walking the dog, or while in the middle of a sun salutation.   I personally like to write things down and then take a moment to find a gesture in my body that reminds me of who I am and who I want to be out in this demanding world.  I wear a mala around my wrist to remind me of my name and the fresh open possibilities that it represents.

What will you create for yourself this holiday season?  What intentions do you want to remind yourself, gift yourself?  It will be an act of generosity to yourself and the others in your world.

May your Holidays be all that you intend them to be and may you be well.
Shunyamala
 

Body Conversations - Can We Talk?

Talk about joy in the moving body !

Often we hear that our bodies and our minds are one.  But what does that really mean? How do you actually experience it?  We live in the body, breathe in the body, move in the body and for me, I particularly enjoy and benefit from remembering in the body. To fully experience and connect with the body while doing something new or having an Aha! moment is to remember that experience internally, in a way that offers real growth and healing. The body is home to all of our inner wisdom and can be a valuable resource, a trusted friend, in making day to day decisions or responding to major challenges. 

This relationship we form with our body is just like any other relationship - it takes work, and love, and understanding. What if listening and communicating with your body could make a real difference? 

So how do you have a conversation with your body? I connect internally through meditation, dance, walking, feeling the body move and respond and breathe.  The San Francisco Buddhist Center is home for my meditation practice and also I have been fortunate to work with some amazing body gurus who have passed their wisdom onto me and now I will share it with you. Wisdom that is about the body and then so much more! Lizz Roman - "Balance is a place of motion."  Augusta Moore - "The breath is the music in the body."  Marianne DeSassise - "Working with your polar opposites allows transcending the blockages in the body."  

Whoa, there is a lot there!  Balancing life and body is a juggling act and it is the act of juggling that brings us balance whether it is adjusting how we sit in our cars by a 1/4 inch or conintually practicing awareness in noticing what body parts hold our tension. Each calibration, each choice does make a difference.  And the breath as music?  Can we really listen to that tune? Is it flowing, rasta, or somber?  Can we dance with it in this breath that happens every moment of every day? And knowing the extremes of the body, how stretching the left side calls for a responding energetic motion from the right side and what is that central grounded space in the middle? 

This may sound a bit esoteric, so where to start? How about getting out and walking around the block?  Really feeling your muscles and skeleton as they push off from the earth and glide forward, rhythmically coordinated. Or perhaps turning on some music as you make dinner and gently, almost absentmindedly, swaying to the beat, letting the music be the breath, the breath the music. Conversely finding the stillness in meditation and befriending the spaces that the breath moves through, around, and creates. 

Whatever will get you out of your head away from the old patterns and words and into the body space, without judging and without expectations.  Only looking for what is there and how it feels. This experience of really being in the body is the secret for learning and acceptance, and ultimately happiness.  A world where your body is your friend, that imperfect friend that we love so much.

Where do you want to start?  How do you want to redesign this age old relationship between your body and your mind?  And I would love to hear about how you best listen and communicate with your body.  Just hit the comment button below....

New Story - Old Coat

Ooh, this motion feels good! 

Anticipating our late summer I realize it is time to remove the extremely heavy woolen coat I have been wearing for....Quite awhile.  It was time - I wanted the airiness, the freedom from the weight.  And I realized this cloak was not going to come off easily,  as it had been carefully wrapped and buttoned up to  protect me from the dangers of living in a demanding world with chronic pain and illness.  And I also realized that while it was protecting me it was also suffocating me.  My energy was stuck deep inside that woolen fabric.  I had a hard time completing things that I wanted to do, that I had started, that could ultimately be very satisfying.  I had a sense of resistance as I pulled around the weight of this cloak with an awareness that it was creating discouragement and deep fatigue.  My spirit felt wounded, clipped so that any kind of flight was totally out of the question and everything was difficult.  Ugh.

What is this weighty cloak?  Stories, old stories based on the past, that had helped me regain a sense of balance in my body.  There was a time that I needed to tie down my will power, the will power I had used to override my body's needs and fuel my desire to work better, play harder. The will power that blocked out all messages sent in desperation from my body to slow down, take a break, and finally broke the cellular master design that controlled my immune system, resulting in autoimmune illnesses that turned out to be much stronger than my will.

And after a long while the coat helped.  It slowed me down and allowed the natural instinct of my body to heal and rebalance. It is a story I want to remember; this story of rest, compassion and care of myself and it is a story I am ready to rewrite.   I no longer need to be bound by a heavy cloak to take care of myself.  My patterns have changed and I have learned that rest and awareness are powerful allies, to use when necessary, no cloak required.

I see that these stories we tell ourselves have impact.  They can propel us forward in the direction we hope for or they can weight us down, stuck and immobile.  They impact how we see ourselves, how we interact with others, what opportunities come our way...or don't.  And because we know them so well the possibility of a new ending is unlikely.

As we all know, life by its own nature changes; I change, my body changes.  I needed a new story if I wanted to twirl carefree in a sunny, open field.  So I did take off the coat, letting go of fear, trepidation, confusion, along with the sense of heaviness and resistance that accompanied it.  I have not forgotten the lesson of rest and awareness and now I have the choice of weaving it into a new pattern, a new story, one that includes a little twirling.

So what old story have you been dragging along?   Is it still helpful to you or is there a rewrite that might provide a little more movement in the direction that is calling you right now?

Comment below and let's get this conversation started!